The Grasshopper

Mummy killed a grasshopper. HAHAHAHAHAH.

With a plastic bag. Her intentions, however, wasn't to suffocate it. She honestly wanted to release it back into the wilderness, where it belonged, before it so rudely intruded into our flat.

When she tried to release it, however, she realised it was stuck.

Mummy: Oh dear, it's stuck.

Me: Just throw the whole damn plastic bag down.

Mummy: *shakes plastic bag more violently* OH NO, I think it's dead! I probably suffocated it in the plastic bag.

Mummy: Oh well, what can I say? I wanted to give it a chance to live. Too bad. *scotchtapes the plastic bag* Aiya, confirm die already.

...... A few minutes later,

Mummy: Should I check on the grasshopper and release it?

Jean: You feel sad for the grasshopper?

Mummy: No, guilty. I killed an innocent creature.

Me: Anyway, how are you going to release it? I thought it's already dead?

Mummy: No lah, probably just fainted from the shock only.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.