CIP - Donation cans

When you do community work, you really get to see all sorts of Singaporeans. And foreigners.

But let me classify them with my incredible analytical skills. I learn well from mr whitby. Hopefully. I want to pass my literature common test paper.
And really, once you get to know the groups, it's all about the strategy baby!

Oh yeah, we're talking about donation cans here. I became one of those annoying people asking for money. Actually, I was already one of those annoying people last week at orchard.

1) The generous people
Those who smile and willingly donate. There was an old lady who asked me what the cause was, gave me 2 bucks, then went "You're doing a good deed, girl" and smiled a crinkly old woman smile.

OMG IT WAS SO HEARTENING.

WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SO NICE?

2) The couples
Where the guy acts macho in front of the girl and donates.

3) The old people
Most old men have lotsa change in their pocket. Yes it's a fact. The old ladies (be discerning and don't bother asking those who look v. poor or grumpy - most of the time your gut instinct is 90% right) with nice handbags tend to give more. Yes it's a fact too.

4) The familes
Anyone with kids I think would feel inclined to donate when you go "Would you like to help underprivileged kids?"

It becomes a moral obligation.

Exception of one dude who told me "Yeah i'm struggling with my own kid already. Are you gonna help me?"

:OOOOO Was dumbfounded.

5) The angmohs
1 in 40 will donate. I am not kidding you. I had one lady question me for 5 minutes on the cause of the project before going "Uh, I think i'm gonna miss my bus"

WHAT THE KENASAI.

6) The teenage boys
Men are sheep. When one gives, the rest will follow. And they are surprisingly generous! I view malay dudes in a new light now.

7) People who are in the same boat
Insurance agents, mobile plan sellers - I didn't even ask them for money and FIVE DUDES just came up to me to put money in the can.

I think they know how it feels to walk around and be rejected.

It was so incredibly sweet :)

I didn't ask them cause I thought they already had sad lives doing their JOB in the bus interchange. HAHAHAHA.

8) The grunters
People who actually SNORT/MAKE GRUMPY NOISES while digging for change and give you an annoyed face. It makes you feel as though you're stealing money from them or something. Actually, I'm fine with that as long as you donate.

But i mean, seriously? How does giving 50 cents make you any poorer?

9) The grunters who DON'T give
WHATEVER MAN. Go rot in hell.

Okay that's a bit mean. BUT HMMPH. HMMPHHHHHHHH.

10) THE OCCASSIONAL CRAZY PERSON
Me: Hello, would you like to help underprivileged children?

Woman: NO.

Me: Thank you

Woman: *goes into this bonkers fit of laughter*

Me: *asks old man behind her the same question

Woman: *STILL in bonkers fit of laughter*

IT WAS DAMN FREAKY I SWEAR. SHE JUST BURST OUT LAUGHING AND DIDN'T STOP. SHE SOUNDED CRAZY.

I THINK SHE WAS CRAZY.

SHE LOOKED CRAZY.

Damn scary ): I think i'm permanently scarred by that incident.


OKAY SO HERE'S WHAT I LEARNED FROM LAST WEEK

STRATEGISING:
Common sense lessons by Marie Pang

Yes really, it's from me. Personal experience.

1) Target idle people - People waiting at the bus stop/taxi stand/for their friends
It really makes you seem mean if you don't give and someone is hovering next to you AND it's not as if you're rushing somewhere.

Easily get about 5-10 bucks PER bus line at the bus interchange, especially if it's crowded. ASK EVERY SINGLE PERSON. If one person gives, chances are, the rest in the line will take out their wallets even before you ask.

IN CONTRAST

2) People who walk fast ALWAYS ignore you
9 out of 10 will at least. I learnt my lesson.

3) Don't ask people who look very poor/grumpy
Yeah yeah, don't judge a book by its cover.

BUT COVERS RING TRUE TO A LARGE EXTENT.

If you ask poor people you make them feel bad for not being able to give and they most likely won't donate anyway.

About grumpy people - follow your gut instinct. People who are grumpy just won't give- deal with it.

4) TEENAGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE
a) When one girl says no, the rest will probably say no

AS OPPOSED TO

b) When one guy gives, the rest will probably give

TRIED AND TESTED BABY. Therefore- go for the guys. I think it works best if you're a girl.

5) Always look into their eyes
Yes i know i seem annoying and buggy. But it's all for charity.

How do you say no when someone is staring at you, asking you for HELP? It's almost like "I'M ASSESSING YOUR CHARACTER HERE WOMAN. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN???"

Uh, but not so extreme.

Except for that bonkers woman.

6) ANGMOHS WON'T GIVE
Of course, there are exceptions. About 1 in 40. So don't waste your time, do the math.

7) Act sweet
Enough said.

8) 'Thank you's must always be said excessively
It contributes to the FEEL GOOD FACTOR.

Therefore, WHEN THEY ARE TAKING OUT THEIR WALLETS - You go "Thank you"

WHEN THEY ARE TAKING OUT THEIR NOTES/COINS "THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

When they give, bow a little and say thank you again.

A humbling experience, really. I don't bow usually.